Que sera, sera. I remember that song from my teenage years.
“When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother, what will I be? Will I be pretty, will I be rich?” Here’s what she said to me. “Que sera, sera. Whatever will be will be”
The song goes on through many key life stages. How wise are all the people in the song! Do we even know what it means? As with Reiki and other spiritual paths, we use the term “Let go of the outcomes”, and “holding the space for someone.”
In his book Reiki Insights, page 99, Frans Stiene writes:
“If we hold space for someone during a hands-on healing session, then we need to let go of any outcome. As soon as we have an idea that the pain needs to be gone or that an emotional issue needs to be resolved, then we are holding on to this certain outcome, we are not holding space. Holding space means letting go of trying to fix our client. As soon as we try to fix our client, our ego is in the way and therefore we are not holding space.”
There are many instances in our relationships with others where we are attempting to “hold the space” to allow the other to grow for example. Can we consider this concept of letting go of the outcomes in some aspects of parenting, mentoring, coaching? What if we were to substitute those kinds of relationships when Frans writes about healing sessions and clients?
Frans Stiene writes:
“Holding space during a session therefore also means that we need to let go of judging, labelling, and distinguishing because as soon as we are doing that, we are coming from the ego.”
I am personally exploring what that feels like for me. What it means intellectually is one thing but actually experiencing it is totally different.
When I practice reiki on myself, intending to release stress, I may not notice the effect I hope for. At least not immediately. Reiki is for the highest good of all concerned. I do not really know what that might be. Is the stress serving some purpose in leading me in a new direction? Or is the stress giving me a message I am not listening to. So I let go of the outcomes and notice what will be. Instead I intend to allow the energy I need to give me what ever I most need at that moment and “que sera sera”.
I invite you to reread this as it pertains to you. I remind myself of this regularly because it is not how I have learned to operate in the world. I have to learn new habits.
Perhaps you have an example you would like to share with me privately at email@example.com. I would love to hear from you.
PS. Thank you for reading this blog. Because I have been reworking my web site you may not have received the last blog or two so I invite you to check out blog articles on my website and scroll down. Thank you for joining me.
Till next time,