Summer busyness accompanied by dismantled routines distracts me. It is not easy to consistently follow the meditations I had intended to do. Today I begin again. I remember not to judge myself but the tendency is there and it takes time to let that go and just accept and love who I am.
Frans Stiene’s latest book “Reiki Insights” (available on amazon .com) gives me some thoughts to remember. The Chapter on page 75 is titled “How to Stop Being Uncomfortable with Ourselves” . How true that the Reiki practices are not easy and can “stir up stuff”. Generally we do not like looking deep within ourselves. The process tends to be an up and down process for me. When I am uncomfortable with “the stuff” I dig up, I f ind myself slowing down my practice and even ‘accidentally’ forgetting about it.
Frans says “It is like trying to train a wild horse; the wild horse represents our confused mind. It takes a lot of effort and patience to train a wild horse and sometimes we fall off the horse and hurt ourselves. We stir up emotions , things we do not want to look at: fear, worry, anger, you name it. But if we want to help others, then it is of utmost importance that we start to tame our own confused mind first.”
It is when I do not want to look at myself that I tend to blame others, or circumstances, or life for what I see as my failings. We do that, don’t we? We blame others and/or ourselves, labelling ourselves and others in the process. How can we get out of that pattern? First we have to recognize what we are doing. Oooooh that is a tough one! How do we get out of this habit when we really don’t want to admit our shortcomings.
Frans tells us “It means that we start to accept ourselves for who we are with all our pain, discomfort, joy, issues and attachments. We start to become friends with ourselves again… I call this ‘being naked’ with yourself. Being naked is about accepting yourself completely, without judging or labeling. It is letting go of criticizing ourselves. The precept ‘show compassion to yourself’ is pointing this out.”
This brings to mind the concept of the shadow self. I found reading Debbie Ford’s book “Dark Side of the Light Chasers” meaningful in helping me understand this concept. Yet “getting it” intellectually does not mean that we are able to make it real for us. I know in my head that when I see something I react to in another, there is a good chance I need to look at that within myself. But oh how difficult that can be. I resist. And sometimes out of the blue one day, I realize at a deeper level that it is true within me and I need to accept it. When I finally do that, does it ever change how I view the other. Little by little, step by step, I learn more about me and become just a bit more comfortable with myself.
This brings me to a question for you. In one or two words, can you share with me/us what is the most challenging thing for you to accept about yourself? Just acknowledging that can be a big step in your process
For me it is the “nastiness”. You only need to give one word.
I can sometimes speak in a nasty tone with those I love the most. I do not think of myself as a nasty person. But I am learning to accept that there are circumstances when that nasty side shows its face. I don’t like it and I deny it but today I realize it is there, showing its face occasionally, but staying hidden from my self awareness. In accepting it, perhaps it will be less hidden from me.
To end this reflection I quote Frans again: “When we stop labelling and judging ourselves, we reach a state of mind of stillness.”
The Reiki Precepts: Just for Today
Do not be angry
Do not worry
Be true to your way and your being
Show compassion to yourself and other.
Till next time,
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